The Devil in Me
by JasonGroff
Summary: After the trauma of sophomore year, Quinn was cautiously relieved when her mother tearfully told her she'd left her father and begged her estranged daughter to come back home. The moment her father kicked her out for being pregnant Quinn knew her life would never be the same, but it turns out the Fabray family had secrets Quinn never even imagined. Eventual Faberry. T for now.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: This is on is it not? Obviously I don't own anything.

Author's note: Not Lucy Caboosey compliant. I don't _hate_ the new canon background story for Quinn, it just isn't going to work for this fic. :-)

Quinn Fabray growled softly to dispel the anxiety roiling her stomach, caused by the familiar action of tossing a dufflebag filled with all her worldly possessions into the small trunk of her beat up compact car. She was grateful for the early summer thunderstorm and the fat raindrops falling on her face washing away tears that had been sneaking up on her all afternoon as she packed her things. She didn't know why she was so emotional. There were no more pregnancy hormones flooding her system and this time she wasn't being kicked out of someone's home. No this time someone actually wanted her to live with them. She was getting ready to move back in with her mother. Her father, Russell Fabray had even gotten a taste of his own medicine. Her mother kicked him out after catching him having an affair, so going home wouldn't even mean facing him.

She climbed into her car, slamming the door shut. Cold rain dripped from her hair and clothes onto the cracked leather seats. Her hands shook and even putting the key in the ignition became difficult. If only she was shaking because she was cold. She rested her chin on the steering wheel as the car's interior light decided she had quite enough time to start the car and went out. Her eyes drifted longingly to the warm inviting lights of the Jones' family home. Quinn would never be able to thank Mercedes enough for taking her in when she had nowhere else to go, even though the two of them had never been particularly close; more than acquaintances but never quite friends. They had become closer after living together but Quinn was still surprised when Mercedes had told her that even though her mom had forgiven her, Quinn could stay at Mercedes' if she wasn't ready to be a Fabray again just yet. _Quinn, I know we still don't have much in common, but you're family now understand? Don't ever think that no one will be there to catch you if you need help again. _

Quinn brought a hand to her eyes, rubbing with annoyance at the new rivulets of salty water now leaking down her face in addition to the rain. Her skin felt hotter as she shoved the uncontrolled emotions that she couldn't handle back behind the mask she wore at almost all times, even when she thought she was alone. Maybe if she could just stay in character long enough, she could forget that underneath it all she was someone else. Suddenly it was much easier to see in the ominous darkness, and Quinn quickly started her car, further defying her inner self's desire to avoid conflict. After all if her family taught her anything, it was that unpleasantness could not be avoided if one was to gain success, so best to just have it done.

Resigned she backed her car out onto the nondescript suburban street, noting that no matter the side of town, all of the neighborhood roads in Lima looked so much alike. It was boring perhaps, but also comforting, all of those families having much the same experience. Her own house was set apart on its street, further back from the road and mostly obscured from view by old trees. She drove carefully, heavy rain and her car's wipers beating a steady rhythm augmented by a haunting eighties tune coming through her radio. _But then a strange fear gripped me, and I just couldn't ask. Take me out tonight oh take me anywhere. _The vague sense of discomfort she felt earlier returned along with an itching that was almost a burning sensation on her shoulder blades and in the small of her back. The male singer's voice continued to break through her thoughts, his tone a contradictory blend of subdued and desperate, a state of mind that Quinn knew well after the events of her sophomore year. _Driving in your car, I never never want to go home. Because I haven't got one no, I haven't got one- _Quinn gritted her teeth as the lyrics got too personal, but unlike her sometimes friend Santana, instead of hitting something or cursing Quinn merely reached over calmly to shut off the radio. She never really liked eighties music anyway.

When she was sitting stopped at a main street traffic light on her way to her side of town, Quinn allowed herself to be tempted by the sight of the local coffee joint's welcoming open sign. Sure she needed to get home, but what could be the harm in getting a little comfort caffeine first? Especially after so many months of unwillingly avoiding her favorite drug of choice for the baby.

Easily parking her car on the empty street, she half jogged to the door through the rain despite her clothes still being damp from earlier. The coffee shop was warm but mostly empty of customers as she hesitantly dried her shoes on the welcome mat before wandering over to place her order. Her stomach dropped when she realized she recognized the young barista from school, and that the slightly overweight girl who she'd attended celibacy club meetings with was looking over the counter at her with a poorly veiled look of judgment.

_You think that just because I had to keep my head down last year that you're better than me now eh? _Quinn narrowed her eyes as she debated calling the girl out on her sour face. "Can I just get a regular house coffee? Black."

"Caffeinated?" The girl asked in a slightly sarcastic and skeptical tone.

"What's the point of coffee otherwise?"

"I just didn't know if _you_ should be putting chemicals like that in your system."

Quinn gritted her teeth at the false concern, "Look... Sara," she made a show of checking the barista's name tag, even though she hadn't actually forgotten her one time acquaintance's name. They'd gone to the same church together for over ten years after all. "I think even you know enough about how babies are made that you can tell I'm not pregnant anymore." _What you thought I was ashamed to just have it out in the open here?_ Quinn kept eye contact with Sara, ignoring the older woman in the corner booth that she heard let out a scandalized gasp at the word 'pregnant'. As if the old busy-body hadn't recognized Quinn the moment she stepped foot into the restaurant.

Sara shrugged as she turned away from the counter, grabbing one of the house mugs and the coffee pot from the hotplate. "Whatever, how was I to know you hadn't made another mistake already. It's been a month, would be plenty of time since you're some slut now."

"Yeah Sara, you're right okay? I had sex _once, _obviously a slut." Quinn shot back, her voice becoming softer in volume even as her eyes narrowed dangerously, "But even if the sex wasn't the most amazing slightly drunken experience of my life so far, I will never regret it. I don't even like Puckerman that way, but getting knocked up with his kid was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Are you crazy? _It's a sin to have sex before you're married._" Quinn rolled her eyes as Sara clunked the mug down on the counter next to the cash register. "And plus, your dad kicked you out and everyone at church is always talking about you."

"Yeah well. Getting disowned was one of the best parts of the whole experience." Quinn's heart lightened a bit as she realized how much she meant her words, "I'm not even talking to you about this anymore, except for one thing. My daughter, she was _not_ a mistake." Sara just shrugged without speaking, and Quinn heard a couple of the older patron's scoffing openly as she payed. "Could I just get it in a to go cup?"

"So that I'll have gotten this mug dirty for no reason?" Quinn raised an eyebrow at her old friend to let her know just how much she didn't care about Sara's problems. "Whatever." The shorter girl grabbed one of the styrofoam cups and sloshed the hot liquid into it before shoving the coffee across the counter at Quinn, who accepted her drink before turning to head out the door, throwing Sara the bird over her shoulder as a parting shot.

Out on the darkened street Quinn had a bit of a dilemma. She still wasn't ready to home yet, and even if she was, she wouldn't have wanted to take her coffee home. In the past her mother would always lecture about not consuming any calories at night after dinner so that Quinn wouldn't burden her with the embarrassment of having 'the fat kid' at Sunday school. _Even if we're beyond the point of mere embarrassment, old habits..._

At least the rain had slowed to something more like a drizzle, and Quinn found herself smiling as she sipped her coffee, enjoying the feeling of the still hot liquid warming her from the inside. For a few minutes Quinn simply leaned against the side of the building within sight of the door just to annoy Sara with her continued presence. She scuffed her sneaker against the sidewalk, feeling a bit like a smoker indulging in her vice as the buzz of the caffeine began to kick in.

When she brought a hand up to swipe at the rain dripping down her nose, she noted with some surprise that there was a retail store across the street that she didn't recognize the name of with its lights still on. Absently she tossed her mostly empty coffee cup into a nearby trash bin as she contemplated. It was unusual; most stores on main street other than restaurants normally closed at six or seven on Sundays, and it was already later before she'd left Mercedes' house. A carefree smile quirked at Quinn's lips as she decided for the first time in far too long to indulge her simple childish curiosity, her shoes splashing through a few shallow puddles as she crossed the deserted street.

The bell on the door jingled cheerfully as she entered the store that seemed to be selling various antique knickknacks. Her smile widened as she inhaled the scent of old leather, wood polish, and burning wax from the candles that provided the store's lighting. If Quinn didn't know better she would have thought she'd traveled back in time several centuries, though as far as she knew Lima didn't even exist that long ago. As she began exploring the various shelves she wasn't surprised to note that she was the only customer in the store. Most people in Lima wouldn't be interested in this sort of place. _Wonder how the owner managed to even open with the economy being so bad._

On the far wall there was a glass case filled with various medieval European weapons; several fancy looking swords, a few small war axes, many large knives along with some other weapons that seemed like hybrids of the others that Quinn couldn't identify by name. On another wall hung various folk instruments, from nylon-stringed classical guitars, banjos and mandolins, to wooden wind instruments. There were hand-made looking painted drums with animal hides stretched tight, and various shelves with used books of sheet music, not all of which had titles written in English.

Quinn idly ran her fingers over the dark smooth wood of one of the beautifully crafted mandolins, humming softly at the feeling of the thin, delicate strings. There had been an older man from her church who had been a talented player before he'd passed away during her freshman year. She could almost hear a soft melody in her mind as she remembered the sight of his large and gnarled old hands gliding with graceful care over the petite instrument. She'd always wanted to learn to play, but her parents had insisted on piano lessons instead, saying that piano was a more appropriate instrument for a young woman of her social standing. Not that Quinn didn't love playing piano, although she hadn't the time for lessons once she'd joined Cheerios. She wondered idly why she hadn't taken up the instrument last year after she got kicked off the team. _Oh right, I was too busy being scared, homeless and pregnant to be thinking about acquiring a new hobby. _With some reluctance she decided that today wasn't the day she would consider it either. At least not until she knew for certain that she could handle living with her mother again well enough to be making large purchases.

Instead she wandered around the isles in the middle of the store, entertaining herself as she examined the various old childrens' toys, house decorations and books. She normally would have walked passed the shelves with intricately carved stone dragon statues and what seemed to be fantasy books, since beyond reading the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings series, Quinn had never really considered herself interested in the genre. But her eyes were caught by a small white dragon with smoothly polished amber eyes holding a rough purple crystal in his front paws. His head was turned facing away from Quinn, and he seemed to be gazing at a particularly old book with a thick black leather cover.

Quinn let out a soft laugh at her own overactive imagination as she reached out to take the small book from the shelf. When she first opened the book she blinked in surprise as what had at first looked like picture-graphs turned out just to be words. _God did I really get that little sleep last night when I was up late worrying about seeing my mom again? _Humming along to the melody still running through her head, Quinn read over the first few pages that recounted a legend about an intelligent race older than humans, descended from dragons instead of apes; the gargoyles. She snorted in amusement. _Gargoyles? Aren't those the stone decorations like the ones in the graveyard near my church?_ Still the story was intriguing to Quinn who was engrossed for several minutes before she shook herself out of the spell of the book, closing the cover and flipping it over to check to see if there was a price on it somewhere.

"I'm surprised to see a young woman your age taking an interest in the old ways."

She gasped, nearly jumping out of her own skin at the sudden other voice, before forcing herself to take a deep, calming breath as she turned towards the front of the store. "Well... I did always quite like the dragon in The Hobbit..." She admitted shyly, trying to make out the figure of the storekeeper behind the front counter. From his voice he sounded like a kind older man, but his whole body was shrouded in shadows in the candlelit store. Still even from just his silhouette Quinn could tell that he must be a large man. He wasn't very tall, but his shoulders were broader than even her father's, and he appeared to be wearing a cape of all things. _Probably part of his costume for the store though... dressed like someone from an older time._

"Indeed?" The man asked, a smile in his slightly accented voice, "As I recall young Tolkien's dragon wasn't very friendly."

Quinn shrugged, unable to stop from smiling herself at talking of something so carefree and innocent as children's stories. Even so her answer came out more serious than she intended. "Still... he was the last of his kind. That's reason enough for anyone to be grumpy."

"It would be a lonely existence indeed." He allowed kindly.

"Um... I was surprised that you were open so late at night?"

The man chuckled, his deep voice resonating pleasantly through the room, "Actually I just opened shop a couple of hours ago. I've always been a night owl of sorts, I would never be able to run a store with normal hours." He shifted the cape he was wearing idly, "It's probably not the best for business, but I opened the store more as a hobby to keep me busy in my old age rather than with the expectation of making any money."

Quinn actually laughed lightly at the way the man's tone of voice sounded like he was telling her some scandalous secret. "Well I hope that by the time I'm your age I have the courage to do whatever I want as well."

"Hmm... Is there something that you wish to be doing that you feel you cannot?"

"Well... It's not that really." _What would I even want to do if I could do anything?_ "I just... I already disappointed so many people last year. I just want to become someone that they could be proud of." _Someone that _she_ could be proud of... if we ever meet again._ Quinn shook her head slightly as the emotion of giving up Beth snuck up on her again, raising her hand in an attempt to discretely brush away the tears burning in her eyes.

"Do you like the book?" The man asked gently. It was an obvious change of subject because he sensed that he'd made his guest uncomfortable, even so Quinn was grateful for his kindness.

"Yeah... I haven't read anything like this since I was a kid though... I'm probably too old to be reading about dragons and magic." She replied reluctantly.

"Nonsense. No one is ever too old to read about the children of the dragons. Besides, that's a legend passed down by my people, so I insist that you take it with you when you head home." Quinn found herself giggling again at his affectionate tone as she approached the counter to pay for the book, reaching for her purse. She blinked in surprise as the man took a pointed step back away from her and further into the shadows, raising his large hands in a gesture to indicate that she shouldn't come any closer. "Now now, I am not about to accept money from a kid your age, certainly not for that old thing."

"Well excuse me, I thought this was a store?" She questioned, half joking but half serious.

"Hmm... well it really only looks like a store. Its main purpose is to lure people in off the street to keep an old man from dying prematurely of boredom and loneliness." Quinn smiled awkwardly as he laughed loudly at his own joke, "Anyway like I said, you should head home now. Waiting won't make seeing her again any easier."

Quinn peered intently into the shadows, wondering how he knew or if he'd just guessed. "...Well anyway thank you..." She hesitated for a moment longer, knowing that she'd basically been dismissed just now but still reluctant to leave. "...maybe I'll come by again some other night to keep you company?"

"Shouldn't a girl your age be spending the summer having fun with her friends?"

_I would if I thought I had any real friends..._ Granted she was always close with Brittany and Santana, but the last couple summers they'd mostly wanted to get drunk and go to parties... and given her own most recent experience with drunkenness that wasn't really an activity she felt comfortable participating in anytime soon. Rachel had also reached out to her repeatedly over this last year... _But she'll probably want to spend her whole summer with Finn._ She sighed softly and shrugged, "I love my friends, but sometimes I feel like I'm too old to spend too much time with them."

"Hmm. Well you're welcome to come by a few nights a week if you'd like. Still, give your friends a chance at least? Perhaps one of them can teach you to enjoy being young again." He chuckled, "Being old comes quickly enough without rushing things."

The night felt warmer when she stepped back out onto the street. Steam from the earlier rain floated up from the asphalt, shrouding it in thick fog as she walked to her car. Light from the streetlamps bounced off of the droplets of water making the normally dull town of Lima look more like something out of a Disney movie with a magical glow.

For all of her procrastination, finally arriving at her childhood home turned out to be rather anticlimactic. She'd felt too much like a guest to use the garage entrance of her own house, so she'd ended up awkwardly shouldering her giant dufflebag as she unlocked the heavy wooden front door, stumbling into the high-ceilinged foyer. Her mother had come running into the hallway because with all of the noise Quinn made, the poor woman likely thought someone was breaking in. Judy had scolded her for tracking rain and mud all over their professionally polished hardwood flooring before switching her glass of alcohol to her other hand so that she could give her daughter a stiff one-armed hug.

Even with the less than effusive welcome, Quinn quickly became overwhelmed and excused herself upstairs to put her things away and get to bed. It was only eleven, but she hadn't slept well the last few days and after their months of estrangement even a five minute conversation with her mother left Quinn feeling emotionally exhausted. By the time she'd dragged her things upstairs, changed out of her wet clothes and into some pajamas, and taken the time to locate her toothbrush in her bag so that she could brush her teeth, Quinn decided that she would just unpack her things in the morning. Five minutes later she was sprawled across her comforter on top of her still unmade bed and dozing off to sleep.

Unfortunately for Quinn her mind didn't seem content with allowing her even a full night's peace, and within a few hours she was tossing and turning, haunted by images of gentle, intelligent yet decidedly inhuman creatures being tortured and killed. The brutal murders were disturbing enough, but what had tears leaking from her eyes and her whole body shaking was the faces of the killers, all fair skinned and blonde. Through it all she could hear her father's voice, not sure if it was a memory or her mind's imagination, _A man can only be righteous through driving out the devil. God smiles on His children who do great works in His name. _

Quinn woke with an instinctively choked off scream of pain. The metal of the golden cross that she always wore, a gift from her parents when she'd turned ten, was burning painfully where it rested against her chest. The burning itching sensation on her back from earlier had also returned, if anything stronger than before. Her hands fumbled for what seemed like ages with the clasp on her necklace before she simply grasped the cross in her fist and pulled, breaking the clasp entirely. She hissed as the religious symbol's metal burned at the skin of her palm before she dropped it onto her bedside table. She glared at the one worldly possession that had given her any comfort these last nine or so months with betrayal shining in her eyes, half expecting her table to catch fire, though nothing of the sort happened.

Still half asleep she scuffed into the bathroom, roughly yanking her cotton pajama top over her head and turning around, awkwardly trying to get a good look at her still burning back. She frowned as she noticed the angry red crucifix-shaped burn on her chest, but the skin on her back was just as pale and smooth as always. Shrugging because she was still too tired to try and decipher any deeper meanings from apparently inexplicable events, Quinn grabbed some aspirin from the medicine cabinet that she swallowed with a handful of water. Her frown deepened further when she noticed the extra softness still covering her once glorious abs, though part of her felt almost comforted that she could still be moved by something so mundane. _Ugh... maybe all of this is still some bad dream. _Quinn pinched at the spare amount of unwanted fat. _Consider this a warning that we're going running tomorrow stomach. _Maybe if she could just get in shape enough to get back on the Cheerios this summer, her life could get back to normal. But no matter how exhausted she still was, this time Quinn laid in her bed for hours before she managed to drift back off to sleep, her dreams filled with things much more frightening than Sue Sylvester's demanding practice schedules.


	2. Chapter 2

It was still dark outside when the old alarm clock radio on Quinn's bedside table began playing soft music that echoed loudly in her otherwise silent room. Eyes that had been open long before the alarm went off blinked tiredly, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she pushed herself out of bed and wandered over to her dresser to pull out some shorts and a t-shirt. It was time to get serious about her 'get in shape for cheerleading tryouts' workout plan. She'd only been living with her mom for a week but things didn't seem even close to back to normal. Of course that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Not having to tiptoe around the house to avoid angering her father was certainly an improvement, but she still hadn't been able to get a complete night's sleep all week. She couldn't tell if it was the nightmares that were causing her to be unable to sleep or if she just wouldn't ever feel completely at home in this house again and that was the cause of her nightmares.

Walking back into her room from the bathroom putting her long hair up in a ponytail, she rolled her eyes in annoyance as the the soothing sounds of Gladys Knight faded into the voice of the overnight dj. Quickly turning off the radio, her eyes drifted to the gold cross still laying on her bedside table. She hadn't tried to touch it since her first night home, and Quinn was uncertain which she was trying to avoid: learning that she was going crazy and imagining things, or finding out that she was suddenly and inexplicably allergic to her faith's most important religious symbol. She reached out to run her fingers over the delicate gold chain but couldn't quite bring herself to touch the pendant. Besides she needed to get started with her workout. She rolled rubbed at her still tired eyes, not at all convinced by her attempt to attach some virtue to her blatant avoidance tactics.

Tightening the laces on her old running shoes that she'd really need to replace if she made the team again, Quinn began going through a familiar short series of warmup exercises. Coach Sylvester always claimed this warmup was used in the army. Quinn didn't know if that was true, coach had a tendency to exaggerate, but the simple stretches and body strength testing moves were relaxing and helped her get in a good state of mind for her self-imposed obstacle course. As she jumped to her feet after completing her last extra-slow pushup she briefly considered grabbing her ipod from her dresser before deciding against it. Most mornings she enjoyed just being able to zone out while listening to her music and arriving home with her whole workout completed without really being engaged in the process. Sometimes though she wanted to focus on the feel of the wind on her face and the sound of morning birds singing without any distractions.

The red numbers on the clock radio changed to 5:00 as Quinn headed quietly down the stairs, carefully shutting the garage door so that she wouldn't disturb her mother who was certainly planning on sleeping for at least another couple of hours. It was still dark outside, but already there was a warm heaviness to the air that promised a hot early summer day. She started at a medium jog down the street, smiling cheerfully as she took in the sky graying at the eastern horizon, along with the many brighter stars still visible overhead. Her eyes brightened as she spotted the particularly brilliant Venus a hand's length above the horizon as she headed east towards the playground a mile from her house.

When she reached the end of the road that her house was on, Quinn moved off of the road and onto a narrow paved bike path that cut through the small wooded area between her house and the nearest playground. She remembered how she and her older sister used to take their bikes down this way to play when they were much younger, and how she always made her older sister worried when she would ride her bike ahead at dangerous speeds down the winding path. Quinn shook her head to clear her thoughts of Frannie who hadn't spoken to her since just after Quinn got kicked out by their father, and even before that they'd barely spoken once Frannie had moved out of their parents' home to go to college and find a husband few years ago.

Lengthening her stride she shifted from her moderate jogging pace to a full out run, grinning softly at the sound of a mockingbird singing in the trees accompanied by the songs of crickets and peeping frogs in the small creek that ran nearby. By the time she burst out of the trees and into the open field with the large wooden playground, Quinn was breathing heavier and the muscles in her legs and chest warm with energy. She barely slowed as she ran up the tall metal slide, giggling as she felt like she was ten again.

Beth had never been a burden to her the way some speculated and Quinn never regretted that she had gotten pregnant or even learning how little she meant to her own family. But after nine long months of taking care not to overly exert her body she was sharing with a baby, it felt freeing to not have to worry about anyone else. To finally have all of her body's energy to herself instead of feeling tired after just walking around the block. Actually, even with as little sleep as she'd been getting the last couple of weeks, she couldn't remember when she had so much energy for exercising. _Though I guess it's possible that I'm just now coming into my own as an athlete... I only turned sixteen earlier this year after all._ Beth always made her forget that she was still so young.

Quinn jumped from the slide platform, quickly grabbing on to the first of the horizontal monkey bars with both hands before she began swinging from one to the next. Her upper body strength in particular had deteriorated during her pregnancy, and even if coach Sylvester ended up making her a flier again this year on the team, Quinn still had to get through tryouts first and that meant she had to be as strong or stronger than she'd been this time last year. After all Sylvester certainly wasn't going to make it easy for Quinn to get back onto the team, new freshman would probably have an easier time of it.

With her mind drifting, Quinn failed to notice the slight slip of the second to last of the horizontal bars as she grabbed it with her right hand. When she let go of the stable bar with her left hand the bar she was gripping one handed immediately began spinning. Quinn winced as she felt like her arm was going to get pulled out of socket before she lost her grip and landed hard on her back in the packed mulch below.

_Ugh... fuck my life._ She groaned as she slowly sat up, one scraped up hand attempting to rub the dull pain from her back, her eyes closed against the greater sting of her bruised pride, even if no one else had been around to see. Her eyes flew back open again when her fingers brushed over a protrusion at the base of her spine... _What? No. There can't be something like that there..._

But it was. She blinked in confusion as her hand ran over what she could only describe as a thick fleshy _tail_. It was only about a foot long but it was definitely a tail. _I know that this hasn't always been there. God... was it there this morning when I got dressed and I was just too tired to notice? What is going on?_

Quinn felt her vision blackening at the edges as she began to panic, breathing too quickly. Part of her mind that was strangely detached and unaffected by the situation was trying to tell the rest of her to calm down, even if the rest of Quinn was feeling like if there ever was a time to panic, it was now. But if there Quinn learned one thing last year, it was how to keep going when things in her life seemed like they were all falling apart. Even if this time she felt more like she was falling down the rabbit hole. After all it's not like there was anything she could actually do about suddenly sprouting a tail. _And who knows, maybe I actually landed on my head and I'm really just passed out on the ground having a weird hallucination._

She found herself feeling strangely hopeful for a more serious injury as she rose gingerly to her feet and walked over to the pullup bar, leaping the short distance from the ground and grabbing the cool metal with both hands. She could already feel the familiar numbness of her mind building a protective barrier between her sanity and a truth she just couldn't handle yet as she began repeatedly pulling chin over the bar. When her back and shoulders were burning with exertion, Quinn flipped her hands on the bar so her palms were facing her, repeating the exercise using her biceps instead. She smiled when she was able to do two more than yesterday before she was too tired to continue. For a few moments she simply rested hanging from the bar as she contemplated how much it would hurt her back to land, but was pleasantly surprised when her feet hit the mulch with a loud thud but without even a tingle of pain from her earlier fall.

Shrugging she again broke into a jog, this time heading further down the network of bike paths toward the a playground on the other side of town where she would repeat her strength exercises before looping and taking a more direct route back home. Now Quinn was wishing that she had brought her ipod, since she would welcome any distraction to prevent her from noticing the extra appendage in her pants that twitched like it had a life of its own. A voice in her head that sounded remarkably like Santana's joked that it was too bad that she hadn't grown a trouser-snake that impressive in the front instead. Quinn stopped for a moment, rubbing her eyes with her hands as she tried to clear her mind of unwanted mental images. Unsuccessful she gritted her teeth and started running faster, hoping that if she ran fast enough her brain wouldn't have oxygen to spare for inventing any more disturbing scenarios.

It was still dark when she slowed to a walk as she approached the next playground after a long run. She smiled when she checked the time on her wrist watch and noticed that despite her fall and distressing personal revelations, she had arrived a minute earlier than yesterday. Her smile faded to a look of confusion though once the blood thundering in her ears quieted enough for her to pick up a sound coming from the park other than the early morning wildlife and a soft breeze in the tree leaves. What at first seemed like an aimless melody picked out on an acoustic guitar floated to her ears, warm liquid notes flowing from one to the next over top the harmonizing chords beneath.

Dawn hadn't broken yet, but Quinn's eyes were well adjusted to the early morning darkness by now and she could easily make out the figure of the guitar player sitting on a nearby bench facing away from her. He seemed like a small guy, but the hoodie he was wearing and the direction he was facing prevented her from making out any details. For long moments she hesitated behind him, reluctant to interrupt what was obviously an emotional and private moment. Each of the instrument's notes sang clearly of soul deep loneliness, and Quinn felt an answering ache in her own heart as she recognized how it felt to want to just pour out your feelings where no one else could find them. _After all that's really what you're doing right now isn't it? You don't really want to get back onto Cheerios this bad._

Her unconscious decision to remain lurking some distance away proved a fortuitous one, because when the instrument's melody evened out and the guitar player began to sing, Quinn couldn't quite suppress her gasp at the sound of a voice she would know anywhere. She wondered why she hadn't recognized the intense emotions in the guitar, but then perhaps it was because she'd always automatically associated this person with melodramatics rather than sincere and real emotions like the ones that flowed effortlessly from the wooden instrument.

_I get so distracted,_

_by some peoples' reactions._

_That I don't see my own faults_

_for what they are._

_For what they are._

_At times so self destructive,_

_with no intent or warning._

_But behind this emotion_

_there's a sensible heart._

_A sensible heart._

Quinn had never been able to stop herself from getting caught up in Rachel's performances in glee club. She would find herself smiling when Rachel sang with pure joy, or involuntary tears coming to her eyes when Rachel lost herself in the more intense emotion of a particular piece. But this was the first time she'd listened to Rachel singing where she knew the tiny diva wasn't deliberately turning up the dramatics for her audience, after all Rachel didn't even know Quinn was here. Even if Rachel shared her emotions with others during her performances, Quinn had always sensed a control to it before. Rachel wanted her audience to feel a certain thing with her when she sang, so she tapped into her own emotions very deliberately, so even though she was allowing herself to be vulnerable, her skill during her performances always forced her audience into being vulnerable with her. It was probably one of the reasons Quinn was always getting so angry with Rachel. Quinn hated being vulnerable.

_I'm no king, I wear no crown_

_but desperate times seem over now._

_Yet still I weaken somehow,_

_and it tears me apart._

_It tears me apart._

_Well I hope to learn as time goes by,_

_that I should trust what's deep inside._

_Burning bright, oh burning bright,_

_my sensible heart._

_My sensible heart._

Rachel's powerful voice softened and faded, until she was humming along with her guitar. She again picked up the song's melody with the instrument, her voice's humming rising above the guitar's notes to provide a gentle harmony. Despite the desperate loneliness that had characterized the song before and the sadness in the lyrics, the way Rachel played now made Quinn smile. The melody was light and cheerful almost, as though Rachel was daring her darker emotions to try and keep her down. Quinn had always wondered how, no matter what manner of cruel things she and others did to Rachel, the tiny singer never seemed brought down by anything. Certainly Quinn had seen Rachel cry before, indeed she'd been the direct cause of Rachel's tears more times than she cared to remember these days, but always the following day Rachel would return to school with that bright smile on her face willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt all over again. Quinn felt so many intense feelings that she'd been uncomfortable with naming whenever she thought of the way Rachel had offered her friendship last year when Quinn had felt so alone and frightened, even after all the horrible things Quinn had said and done. Rachel just _cared_ about Quinn and wanted to make things better.

Suddenly she wondered if she shouldn't just try and sneak away without alerting Rachel to her presence at all. Rachel had offered Quinn kindness certainly, but how would she feel if she knew that the person most responsible for constantly bringing her down had witnessed such a private moment?

"You don't have to hide you know. I won't be mad."

Despite the gentle tone of her words and the obvious smile in Rachel's voice, Quinn still jumped at the acknowledgment of her presence. "How did you know it was me?" she choked out, her voice sounding simultaneously smokey and frightened.

Rachel turned to look over her shoulder in Quinn's direction, a friendly smile still gracing her full lips as warm dark eyes scanned Quinn's face, "I didn't actually know it was you... I just knew that someone had been listening."

"God Berry, what if I had been someone dangerous?"

Rachel's smile changed to something more like a smirk as she stood from the bench, still carrying her guitar, and walked over until she was standing directly in front of Quinn. Dark eyes danced with amusement as they searched Quinn's, causing her to shift her stance uncomfortably. "Are you telling me I shouldn't talk to strangers Quinn?" A small hand rested on Quinn's forearm and Quinn thought she could feel the slight roughness in Rachel's fingers from her guitar strings as the tiny singer practically _caressed_ her affectionately. Quinn half expected herself to react with harsh words about Rachel when the touch felt too nice, but was surprised that she remained still and enjoyed the touch, her eyes sliding shut briefly. She could feel her tail twitching and imagined if anyone could see it and her that she would look like a rather strange large cat right now. "Well I am surprised but nonetheless pleased to hear that you would concern yourself with my safety. Thank you, Quinn."

Quinn shrugged shyly, feeling her cheeks warm a bit at Rachel's compliment. Then realizing that she should probably try to distract Rachel from studying her so closely and perhaps noticing Quinn's _difference_ she nodded in the direction of the guitar in Rachel's other hand. "I didn't know that you played."

"Aah yes," Rachel removed her hand from Quinn's arm and took a step back so that she would have more room to show off her guitar. It seemed like it must be an old instrument; the wooden soundboard was scratched in places from many years of playing. But it had new strings and some of the metal used for the frets and tuning knobs seemed like it might be newer than the rest of the instrument. "I never really trusted the people at school enough to bring her with me to glee practice." Rachel explained, her hand now running over the curve of the guitar with at least as much affection as it had shown Quinn earlier. She gave Quinn an apologetic smile and a shrug as if she felt guilty about letting Quinn know that she might have been one of those that Rachel had mistrusted. Quinn wished that Rachel wouldn't be so forgiving sometimes... it made her stomach heavy with feelings that she would rather not try to decipher. "And it's not really proper for a Broadway singer to play a guitar during a performance anyway. The way the instrument is held it can sometimes create a barrier between the singer and her audience that can inhibit the exchange of emotions."

"Uh... yeah I guess you're right." Quinn agreed, even though she'd never given much thought to the subject. "You play beautifully."

"You think so?" Rachel asked shyly, "I took some lessons with it in middle school, but unlike my singing I'm mostly self-taught with the guitar. Most of the lesson times interfered with school clubs or my dance lessons, and then the one man we could find kept telling me that I would never be good with the guitar because my hands are just too small." She held up one of her hands for Quinn's inspection, and not for the first time Quinn found herself swallowing reflexively as she felt a certain unwanted response in herself at the very _unmanly_ nature of Rachel's hands.

"He probably just noticed your natural talent and felt intimidated by the idea of teaching someone who would soon be more skilled than him." Quinn blushed when Rachel gave her one of those blinding smiles in response to her compliment. Apparently even Rachel had noticed the intense emotions that always seemed to swirl between them whenever they were alone together, because after looking shyly at Quinn for a few more moments and murmuring a 'thank you' for her kind words, Rachel turned and wandered back toward the park bench. Kneeling she next to the hard plastic guitar case she carefully placed the old instrument inside it before latching the metal clasps shut.

"Anyway, although I have found myself quite enjoying your unexpected company this morning, I should probably get home before my daddy worries. Like yourself he is often concerned when I go out at night because I could possibly encounter these dangerous _strangers._"

"I could walk you home." Quinn heard herself offering eagerly before she'd even had time to think. She winced, as even to her own ears she sounded desperate to spend even a few more minutes with Rachel.

Rachel just walked back over to Quinn, carrying her guitar case in one hand with a secretive grin on her face that said she knew something Quinn didn't. "Thank you Quinn, I would like that."

They turned and left the park together, heading along the bike path in the direction of Rachel's house, the opposite direction from her own. Quinn tried to make sure to not get ahead of Rachel since she wouldn't want her to notice her strangely changed body. "Um... I could carry your guitar for you if you want... it's kindof a long walk."

"Thank you for the kind offer Quinn, but I don't mind carrying it. I assure you I am stronger than I look."

"I know that..." Quinn looked don at her feet bashfully, "I'm sorry."

Rachel nodded, clearly understanding that Quinn was apologizing for more than a mere underestimation of her strength. "It's okay. I had already forgiven you."

_Why?_ Quinn wanted to ask, but didn't, ashamed at the possibility of hearing Rachel list some of the things Quinn had done to her over the years out loud. _How could I deserve a friend like her?_ Momentarily she entertained the thought that her sudden allergy to her crucifix and her unexplained physical changes might be God punishing her for treating someone so kind with such animosity. As the pair walked on for many minutes a comfortable silence stretched between them, to anyone watching unaware of their history, it would seem as though they had always been friends.

Of course it always seemed that Quinn couldn't hold on to anything peaceful and pleasant in her life. Though the thing that disrupted it this time was certainly the most unusual of suspects. At the first sign of the fiery orb of the sun coming up over the horizon, Quinn felt herself consumed by an aching pain all over her body. The pain was most intense in her teeth and along her back, but her joints and muscles everywhere ached as though they were being forcibly crushed into a smaller size. She fell to her knees on the path, sweating and breathing heavily. She concentrated on drawing in deep, soothing breaths to keep herself from screaming out from the pain.

Nearly as soon as it had washed over her, the pain faded completely. Still kneeling on the ground Quinn did a quick mental survey of her body, her eyes widening slightly as she realized that her unwanted extra body part had disappeared. She sighed softly feeling a strange combination of relief and disappointment. _Why though? All I want after last year is a chance to be normal again._

A hesitant hand rubbing her back gently slowly brought Quinn back to awareness of things outside of her own body. She glanced up to see Rachel kneeling beside her, a look of intense concern on her unique features. Quinn found herself unable to speak as she noticed how very _warm_ the early dawn sunlight made Rachel's eyes. _But Rachel's eyes are always warm._

"Are you alright?" Rachel asked, her voice quiet and thick with emotion as she searched Quinn's face.

"Um... yeah. I just fell earlier... I think maybe I twisted my ankle slightly and just now I stepped on it wrong." Quinn felt slightly guilty about lying to Rachel with the impossible girl once again offering her friendship, but it wasn't as though Quinn could tell the truth about what had happened. Something like this would probably be even worse for her reputation than getting pregnant.

"Oh..." Rachel looked away again, walking back over to pick up her guitar case that had apparently been thrown to the ground carelessly when she had rushed to Quinn's side. "Well... did you maybe want to rest at my house for a little while before you head home?"

"I wouldn't want to impose on your dads so early..." Quinn hesitated, less than confident about how the parents of a child she had tormented for years would feel about inviting said tormenter into their home so early in the morning.

Quinn blushed again as Rachel bit her lower lip, her big brown eyes studying the ground shyly as she searched for her reply. "...well actually my dads are out of town this week."

"I thought you just said that your dad would worry about you being out at this time?"

"He would be worried." Rachel spoke with extra fierceness about her father's concern and Quinn raised her hands in surrender, gingerly getting to her feet, thinking it was likely safe since the pain still hadn't returned. "They always go out of town at the end of June to celebrate their anniversary." Rachel shrugged meeting Quinn's eyes, her face set with the same determination that Quinn had only ever seen her use to get solos in glee club. "It's important to put ice on a sprain as soon as possible to prevent secondary injuries from occurring! I know you're probably intending to try out for Cheerios again, and if you are injured then you won't stand a chance." Rachel hesitated again, the shyness creeping back in under her mask of confidence, "...and maybe I could make you breakfast or something?" Seeing Quinn's immediate reaction of slight distaste at the suggestion Rachel hastened to explain, "I'm vegan, but my daddy isn't. Actually I am quite certain that there is some bacon left in the refrigerator that will only go bad this week if no one eats it, and having to simply throw meat away would make me feel even worse than to know that at least someone managed to get something beneficial out of some poor pig's suffering."

Quinn winced at Rachel's harsh description of her carnivorous dietary habits, wondering how a few off-hand mentions of some pregnancy cravings had given her a reputation as a bacon-fanatic. _I really do love bacon though..._ "Well when you put it that way. I'd hate to be the cause of Rachel Berry's greatest moral dilemma."

Rachel grinned, walking up to Quinn and taking her hand with the one not holding her guitar case. "Thank you. I accept that my fathers will always be the romantic sorts, but sometimes I do get lonely having the house to myself." Rachel seemed much more cheerful now than she had when Quinn had first chanced upon her as they continued on their way to Rachel's house.

Quinn bit the inside of her cheek as she tried not to focus on how natural Rachel's smaller fingers interlaced with hers felt, their hands swinging slightly between them as they walked. "I would have thought you'd be spending more time with Finn without your parents at home to be overprotective?"

It took Rachel a while to reply, the way she idly played with Quinn's hand in hers the only indication that she wasn't angered by the question. "I might have been avoiding him lately."

"Why?" Quinn asked loudly, wondering why Rachel would do that with the boy she had fought so hard to steal out from under Quinn's nose last year. _Please, you dated him for how long and you're asking her that?_ "I mean... I just thought the two of you were so close is all. It's a bit of a surprise."

Rachel shook her head, "No... I understand why you would be upset considering our shared history." Rachel was doing that thing again, biting her lower lip, causing Quinn's stomach to flutter pleasantly. "It's just, before we started dating Finn was the first person who ever wanted to be friends with me. It was why I wanted to date him so badly, he seemed like he really liked me." She shrugged, some of her sadness from earlier returning, her shoulders slouching slightly as she thought of her tall boyfriend. "These days it's like the only time he wants to hang out with me is when he wants to make out. I understand that boys his age mostly care about video games and sex, but I guess I'd just thought Finn cared about other things as well."

_Rachel must be really special to him for Finn to have put so much effort into getting her attention._ Quinn felt a brief surge of jealousy at Rachel's words wishing that Finn had thought herself worth so much extra effort. But at least Quinn had never had any unrealistic expectations of a boy she considered her mostly dull if tolerable ex that she'd dated for convenience and reputation. Rachel actually loved him, or was at least fond of him in some way beyond just wanting him for her 'leading man' in glee club. Quinn ignored a stronger and otherwise directed surge of jealousy as she searched for the right words to say. "Well, maybe the two of us should spend some time together this summer?" She offered awkwardly when she couldn't find it in herself to say something reassuring about Finn.

Quinn smiled when Rachel squeezed her hand affectionately jumping up and down a little in excitement at Quinn's suggestion. _God... I really was such a bitch to her. Why does she still care about anything I say... why would she want to spend time with me? _Even with her self-recriminations Quinn couldn't keep the answering grin off of her face. "I would really enjoy that Quinn, and even though I have a spreadsheet of my preferred summer activities, I'm obviously open to anything that you might suggest as well."

"That's very considerate of you." Quinn replied with a roll of her eyes, even though a large part of her found Rachel's hyper-organization more adorable than annoying. She frowned slightly when Rachel suddenly let go of her hand and jogged ahead of her before she noticed that they had already arrived at Rachel's house. Quinn had only ever visited it a few times, and then it was in the dark with one of the older Cheerios driving, intent on breaking in the new squad members by vandalizing the home of the local social deviants. She was sure that her guiltiness must be written all over her face as she followed Rachel to her front porch, her now once more figurative tail tucked between her legs. She distracted herself from her guilt by taking the guitar case out of Rachel's hands after only a couple moments of watching her attempt to juggle it while failing to unlock the door.

Her stomach twisted again with nervousness and too many other feelings when Rachel finally got the heavy door open and bounded inside. Quinn felt as though her feet were cemented where she stood as she held out the guitar for Rachel to take, feeling unworthy to even be invited inside. Sensing that Quinn hadn't followed her inside Rachel was halfway down the hall when she turned, a sad almost smile on her lips, brown eyes shining with kindness that Quinn had always instinctively rejected. Rachel was kind though, she didn't mention Quinn's momentary awkwardness, even though Quinn knew that Rachel not only noticed but also knew its source. Instead Rachel approached her cautiously, her demeanor not unlike that of someone attempting to entice a shy feline, gently taking her guitar from Quinn with one hand and clasping Quinn's hand lightly with the other. "Come on Quinn, we still need to put ice on that ankle of yours and get you a healthy breakfast. Good nutrition is very important for someone with a demanding athletic routine you know."

Quinn simply nodded mutely and allowed Rachel to lead her inside her home, wondering if she was really quite prepared for whatever she was getting herself into... and whether the prospect of becoming friends with Rachel Berry might be altogether more frightening than suddenly turning into a scary monster. Of course a little hobbit from one of her favorite stories could have told Quinn that she shouldn't have underestimated fate's plans for her life. Things were almost always more complicated than they first might seem.


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel Berry's mind was drifting in a most disconcerting and aimless manner. She found herself entirely unable to focus on Johnny Depp playing his guitar for Carrie-Anne Moss on her fathers' big screen television. Normally she quite enjoyed the movie _Chocolat,_ even if the film had been Quinn's choice rather than her own. A story about an only child part of an atypical family unit with unusual religious practices in an otherwise close-minded town, who only wished for her family to find a little love and acceptance? Well it was such a close allegory for Rachel's own life that the first time she'd watched the movie she felt rather overwhelmed with deja vu. But where was their Johnny Depp to shake things up? Of course her fathers were still quite happily married, so she would rather prefer it if Johnny didn't try to get romantic with either of them. She shrugged absently. This was one of the reasons, aside from just her powerful singing voice, that she wanted to be an actor instead of a writer. Normally she found it easy to see the emotional big picture, but sometimes the day to day details could bog her down.

In fact her tendency to get distracted by her emotions was one of her primary motivations for maintaining such an organized schedule. It helped to keep Rachel directly en-route for her Broadway dreams, mostly preventing some of her less productive personality traits from leaving her head stuck in the clouds, filled with thoughts of her life's past and future dramatic moments. All of this made her a little surprised at how quickly her meticulous summer homework and music schedule had been completely discarded the moment she'd found Quinn watching her play guitar in the park this morning.

She felt guilty sometimes, that part of her always expected the worst from Quinn, even if Rachel had seen first hand all the changes Quinn had gone through this year. At least that was her initial interpretation of the way her heart rate increased and her stomach began doing fluttery flip-flops at the first sight of Quinn. It's just... Rachel hadn't expected to see Quinn using the shy and hesitant demeanor that was so frequently present during her early pregnancy. If she was being honest, Rachel had been spending a great deal of time already this summer attempting to prepare herself for a return to their previous hostile relationship as Quinn worked to regain her lost social standing.

But even if most of her was waiting for Quinn to turn and bite her like a wounded animal, a small part of Rachel wasn't surprised at all that things had ended up like this. Whenever Quinn got this certain look in those intense, normally predatory eyes of hers... It was a look of someone who was always lonely, someone starved for affection without strings attached. Rachel never could resist that look. No matter how certain Rachel was that Quinn would eventually lash out at her when she'd rebuilt her defenses, Rachel felt she could do nothing else but try and help her feel better. Something about a scared and wounded Quinn touched the same part of her that was indignant with righteous anger when she thought of circus lions being goaded into performing tricks to amuse mere humans. Maybe it was true that Rachel Berry was just a small mouse in the social hierarchy of William McKinley, but she still had sympathy for the lioness with a thorn in her paw.

_Oh please, Rachel. Don't tell me you're going to try and pretend to be merely the good Samaritan in this scenario. You've hurt people this year as well. The mouse? Maybe you're the hyena, harassing the lioness while she's weak in hopes that you can steal her prey._ She winced slightly at her inner voice that these days sounded an awful lot like Jesse St. James. Still her innate tenacity that never let her lose sight of her goals bared its teeth at her inner Jesse in warning. So what if she'd taken Finn? Rachel needed to fight for some scraps or she would starve. She needed someone besides her dads to offer her kind words once in a while. Someone who wasn't ashamed to spend time with her outside of school. _Really? You think the queen is just fending off countless friends left and right while she's running her court? _Jesse asked, his tone obviously expecting Rachel to know better. _Royalty have subjects and rivals. Never friends. Perhaps she could have gotten lucky with a particularly loyal servant or two, but everyone has a price when there's so much power at stake. _The guilt swirled darker. _At least an outcast is at liberty to live her life as she pleases. The queen's castle is often nothing more than a cage of her subjects' choosing._

Rachel almost squeaked out loud when there was suddenly a comfortable weight resting against her side. She could feel her eyes widening in a likely comical way as she tried to discretely take in the site of Quinn Fabray napping with her head on Rachel's shoulder without in any way disturbing the peacefully sleeping creature. An old adage about never disturbing a sleeping dragon floated through her mind.

An arm much slimmer than Finn's snaked around Rachel's middle and the slumbering Quinn murmured a few pleased sounding unintelligible words as she pulled her comfy pillow against her more tightly. Rachel gripped the other side of the couch where she was sitting harder when she felt Quinn nuzzling her nose against her bare neck, the gentle warm exhale of her breath sending shivers across Rachel's tanned skin. Finally after Quinn's hand resting on Rachel's side flexed dangerously over one of Rachel's particularly ticklish spots a few times, her suddenly much more friendly guest seemed to settle into a deeper sleep.

_Well now I'm not distracted anymore at least._ Rachel thought with a dramatic roll of her eyes. Of course she still wasn't watching the movie, it was just that all of her attention was completely focused on the mind-bending experience of being snuggled by Quinn Fabray. The entire side of her body where Quinn was pressed close against her seemed to become hypersensitive. The warmth of Quinn's body radiating through clothes she'd borrowed from Rachel after using the shower earlier to wash off from her morning workout felt comfortable in the nicely air conditioned family room. She was surprised because on the rare occasions when Finn wanted to hold her like this, Rachel often felt trapped or slightly suffocated after just a few minutes. _Of course if Finn was leaning on me this heavily I think I would be freaking out right now because I wouldn't be able to move easily if it should become necessary._

Actually it was disconcerting how nice this felt, having Quinn's mostly hard and athletic body against her. Even pregnancy hadn't added more extra softness to her curves than was strictly necessary, and Rachel could tell that Quinn had already started to work most of it off. Still it seemed that even the spare amount of softness in Quinn made it feel like the two of them melded together perfectly.

Rachel tilted her head slightly, taking this rare opportunity to study Quinn up close. Her breath caught in her throat a little as she realized that Quinn was more beautiful than she'd realized, even with her lightly summer sun-burnt skin completely bare of the usual armor of skillfully applied makeup. It did allow her to see the dark circles under Quinn's eyes and Rachel frowned as her mind quickly supplied her with a long list of reasons that Quinn might be losing sleep. The biggest reasons caused Rachel's heart to constrict painfully in sympathy just thinking them, even as a small part of herself that she didn't like very much wished that she had been in a position to see Shelby miss _her_ as much as Quinn obviously missed Beth.

She shifted uncomfortably, conflicted as she always was when she thought of her biological mother. After all she did love her fathers, even if they were one of those annoyingly romantic couples that enjoyed spending time alone with each other more often than some who had been married so long. Yes both of her dads had important jobs and sometimes they worked long hours. But Rachel never doubted that she was their most important priority. They always encouraged her dreams, and Rachel was certain that even with all of her confidence, even she didn't believe in her inevitable Broadway success as completely as her fathers.

Rachel suspected that it was more her desire for social interaction and affection of any kind that made her react the way she did with Shelby. This was a person that she felt certain was biologically obligated to love her and treat her with kindness, and Rachel just needed more of that in her life. But would Rachel expect a mother cat to care unconditionally for a nearly grown kitten, taken from her at birth, and then just suddenly reintroduced with no warning? No matter what the final outcome of their meeting had been, Rachel could tell that Shelby had genuinely _tried_ to feel the things they both wanted her to feel. She thought, perhaps, that sometime in the future she might attempt writing Shelby to get to know her biological mother as a friend or mentor instead. Surely she could convince Shelby that she didn't have unrealistic expectations... And if Rachel was being honest with herself, _she_ really wanted to know for certain that Beth was living a good life with her new mother. Quinn rather understandably hadn't been willing to accept much closeness from Rachel this year, but even so, through their time together in glee club Rachel found herself incredibly invested in the future of Noah and Quinn's daughter.

Her mind swirled with various conflicting scenarios of how she might convince Shelby that she did want Rachel in her life in some capacity. Her wild train of thought was finally interrupted by Quinn's hand rubbing against her side gently, as though the sleeping girl had sensed Rachel's troubled thoughts and was attempting to sooth them away. Absently Rachel noticed that her body had grown accustomed to Quinn's touch because it no longer tickled and all she could focus on now was how nice this felt.

With her mind finally calmed, she was realizing just how exhausted she still felt. Like Quinn, Rachel hadn't really been sleeping well lately either. Despite her best attempts to stick to her carefully planned schedule, she found herself up past her bedtime thinking, and then she would wake up hours before her alarm went off in the morning. She would still feel tired but too restless to sleep. Occasionally she would wake up and try to do something productive to organize for school next year, or more often she took her guitar outside for a walk until she found somewhere secluded so that she could play out her feelings. Today was the first day she'd been grateful for her early morning wanderings however. Rachel smiled lazily as she rested her head against the comfortable sofa cushions, finally simply accepting something pleasant in her life. Her eyes grew heavy and soon she had drifted off into a peaceful light sleep, still enjoying the warmth of Quinn's embrace.

x

The first things Quinn became aware of was a slight ache in her back from sleeping in an uncomfortable position and the slimy sensation of her own drool covering her cheek. A sound not unlike a hungry zombie escaped her lips as she rolled over, one of her hands coming up in an attempt to wipe some of the grossness off her face. She quickly began trying to figure out the cause of her disorientation when she realized that she didn't immediately know where she was, the date or even the time of day.

Warm afternoon sun streaming through the huge glass doors in a cozy family room answered one of her three questions, but Quinn definitely didn't recognize this house right away and for a moment a feeling of greater uneasiness settled in her stomach. Her brain helpfully supplied her with some of its more prominent memories from the last few weeks, and she could feel a headache coming on as she tried to sort through which of the images were real and which were hopefully just strange dreams. Quinn had already passed the few moments necessary for her to be entirely awake, a trick learned from the times when she would fall asleep standing up during Sue Sylvester's more outrageous Cheerios practice sessions. Anyone being caught sleeping by Sylvester earned the whole squad more suicides and extra practice time, which would certainly lead to the dangerous position of being at least temporarily hated by all the Cheerios. Only Brittany was immune to this form of punishment, because only Santana could distinguish the crazy things Brittany said when she was talking in her sleep from the crazy things Brittany said when she was awake.

_I'm at Rachel Berry's house._ She remembered finally, a mix of emotions passing through her too quickly for her to identify each of them. The ones jumping out were confusion and a vague contentment. True to her family name, Quinn didn't attempt to analyze any of them too carefully. Especially the nagging feeling of emptiness that seemed to be her constant companion. It was a _good _thing to have her life back she reminded herself, ignoring the Beth-shaped ache in her heart. There were other, more disturbing memories from earlier that day demanding her attention, but Quinn ruthlessly pushed them to the back of her mind to be ignored indefinitely if at all possible.

For the second time that day a gentle acoustic guitar melody floated to her ears, wrapping itself around her and soothing Quinn's troubling thoughts away like rough sand at the ocean's edge. Quinn didn't recognize the song, but she'd long ago accepted that Rachel was someone who searched for music in places and with determination that most people their age wouldn't possess. Not that Rachel was one of those kids who would merely seek out music because she was avoiding being 'mainstream' since she was always willing to listen to Schue's musical suggestions. Rather music was the most important thing in Rachel's life... and it was this confidence and contentment within herself that really drove Quinn to torment her rival. After all until very recently Quinn had never really allowed herself to wonder what things made _her_ truly happy, and even still thinking of personal happiness was a foreign concept for a Fabray woman.

She stood, sighing happily as she stretched out some of the kinks in her back from sleeping on a couch that was obviously designed with someone Berry's height in mind. For the moment she resisted her urge to follow the delightful music in her ears to its source. Instead she wandered in the opposite direction to the guest bathroom where she'd showered earlier, answering an insistent call from nature and once more attempting to get an unpleasant lingering taste out of her mouth with the toothbrush Rachel had loaned her this morning. She frowned slightly at her reflection in the mirror, wondering if she was somehow developing an unfortunate tendency for bad morning breath. Halfheartedly she ran her fingers through her hair to straighten out the worst of the messiness caused by letting it air-dry earlier. Her grumpiness at her appearance heightened a bit when she noticed her roots needed touching up again, even as the lazy teenager in her tried to negotiate just spending more time by the pool this summer in hopes of the sun bleaching her hair the preferred golden blonde instead of the natural more dirty shade.

_ It's not like I'm planning on hanging out with anyone who needs impressing until cheerleading tryouts in August anyway... It's just Berry downstairs. _Of course Rachel was one person she hated to be vulnerable around the most... so ironically her normally impenetrable emotional armor always seemed to crumble when faced with gentle brown shook her head in an attempt to lock away her weakness, glaring at her own reflection for a moment, as always distantly impressed at how her Fabray-stare could manage to make the feline gold of her eyes colder than the void of space. She growled softly, gripping the cold marble sink harder for a moment before pushing away from it and executing a storm out on her mirror-self that would have made Rachel Berry proud if she were here to witness it.

The guitar's song had changed again, and this time Quinn recognized a melody that she often heard Rachel humming under her breath. It was a sad song that had always tugged at her emotions, especially this past year. Now Quinn finally heard the vocal lyrics that went along with the pleading arpeggio of guitar notes for the first time, Rachel's powerful voice and warm lamplight filtering through the open door at the end of the hallway.

_Will I lose my dignity,_

_will someone care?_

_Will I wake tomorrow,_

_from this nightmare?_

There didn't seem to be any other lyrics to the song, but her own experience last year and the entirety of Rachel's life at school didn't need any other words. Quinn remembered that feeling every day, like she was drowning, everyone around her trying to hold her underwater as she fought for one more breath, needing to stay alive just a little longer for Beth. For herself. Hoping if she could just keep breathing for enough days in a row that maybe her life would change. Maybe someone, anyone would offer her a hand up instead.

Unlike this morning Quinn made no effort to stay hidden, assuming that Rachel must be using her creepy spideysense to detect an audience. Instead she merely walked down the steep staircase into the basement, her amused smile at the sight that greeted her suppressed only by the serious tone of Rachel's performance. Without speaking or otherwise drawing attention to herself Quinn sat next to Rachel on the edge of the small wooden stage. Intense brown eyes rose from the floor, but Quinn felt herself really breaking inside when the harsh look softened almost instantly as Rachel read the guilt and shame on Quinn's face. She covered her face with her hands in an attempt to block out the remembered glint of tears in dark eyes and the sound of unforgivably cruel words thrown at Rachel with her own voice.

The song ended. Rachel's voice and the guitar's last notes reverberated in the perfect acoustics, sending chills up and down Quinn's spine.

There was a gentle, barely there touch on her knee and Quinn reluctantly shifted so that she could look at Rachel, moving her hands to rest beside her on the edge of the short wooden stage. Her jaw clenched involuntarily at the forgiveness and sympathy shining in Rachel's eyes. "Do you feel more like yourself now that you got some rest?" Rachel asked softly, and Quinn didn't know whether she felt relieved or offended that Rachel decided Quinn wasn't yet ready to address the giant dragon lounging in the middle of their tentative companionship.

"Yeah... much better. Thanks. For letting me crash here." Quinn's pride chafed at the tightness in her throat, making her sound like she'd been close to tears moments ago. She _had not been,_ obviously. Rachel just smiled a little wider, nodding mutely, apparently slightly distracted by her guitar. Her small hand easily bridging the neck as she mapped out chords in rapid succession, though her right hand only ghosted over the strings, barely connecting enough to give each note a whisper of sound. "Um... have you had that guitar for a long time?"

Rachel shook her head, "Only for a few years. She certainly looks more well-loved than that though doesn't she?" She finally stopped playing so that she could give Quinn her full attention, but she continued to cradle the instrument in an almost affectionate manner. Almost as though the guitar were a living creature. "My daddy Leroy's father built this guitar himself back when he was still a young man. He was in charge of the music at the Baptist church my daddy's family attended in Tennessee."

"I thought you were Jewish?" Quinn blurted out, remembering how her father used to condemn that aspect of the Berry family along with all of their other sinful practices. She winced as soon as the words left her mouth, wondering if she was overstepping the boundaries of whatever type of acquaintances she and Rachel had become this morning, but the girl next to her just shrugged nonchalantly.

"My dad, Hiram's family is Jewish. My daddy however was raised Southern Baptist, but his father disowned him after he found out about his relationship with my dad. He never once spoke to any of us after he told my daddy he couldn't tolerate such disrespect for God's laws in his family. But when he died last year he left his guitar to me in his will. He'd never even acknowledged my existence when he was still alive, because my dads have never taken a paternity test to say for sure which one of them is even my biological father. So needless to say we were pretty surprised. I like to think it was because he'd forgiven my daddy but just couldn't figure out how to say it." Rachel explained softly. Her voice didn't betray any hurt that half of her extended family pretended she didn't exist, but Quinn couldn't help but wonder if Rachel was really so unaffected. "I was even more surprised that he even knew I was learning to play guitar, but apparently my daddy wrote him a few letter's a year, even though his father never wrote back. I guess maybe he read the letters after all."

"I'm sorry Rachel... I don't really know what to say." Quinn gestured with her hands vaguely, "I mean that in a way it seems like you only even got to meet him after he was already gone."

Rachel smiled sadly, "It's alright Quinn. I think it's quite normal for most anyone to have some family that treats them differently than they would like." She ghosted her thumb over the strings again thoughtfully, "I haven't really been raised with any strict religious traditions since my fathers both feel it better if I am allowed to think the big questions through on my own. I mean we celebrate most of the major holidays of both of their familys' religions, for the music if nothing else, but that's not the point I was trying to make." Quinn smiled indulgently when Rachel actually blushed a little as she noticed her rambling, "Well, this might sound silly. But I feel like when a person crafts a musical instrument, it becomes imbued with the essence of its maker's soul. ...Or sometimes even an instrument that is played frequently by a particular performer!" When she finished Rachel looked at Quinn nervously, obviously worried that she might have offended someone who she knew cared deeply about her faith.

Quinn merely shrugged, the events of the past year and of this past week in particular had left her confused about almost everything. "It seems like a nice thought anyway. I know that whenever I see an obviously old instrument I want to know where it came from and who might have played it." And anyway, it felt surprisingly nice to make Rachel smile for a change. Even when Quinn had been trying her hardest to hate Rachel, if she wasn't careful she would find herself returning Rachel's smiles in glee club. Her happiness was positively contagious. Quinn looked away when she began to feel uncomfortable with all the warm emotions passing between the two of them and instead idly took in the decorations in the Berry family basement. _'Oscar Room' I think she called it during the tour I felt to guilty to tell her I didn't care about. Sometimes it's like she was raised in another country._

There was a wall of trophies and various certificates. Most of them were Rachel's but some of them belonged to one of her fathers. After last year Quinn tried not to be as caught up on material possessions as she had been, but the Berrys' extensive CD and vinyl collection was certainly impressive enough to give her some intense pangs of envy. What really caught her eye were the instruments. She shouldn't have been surprised, she had met Berry after all, but the obviously well cared for guitars and one electric keyboard made Quinn wish that she spent more time here. Her favorite was a vintage bass guitar made with heavy-looking dark wood. It wasn't covered with laminate like most of electric guitars she'd seen at the store in the mall, but Quinn quite liked the understated plain finely sanded wood. Her left hand twitched idly as she imagined what it would be like to learn to play.

"That one's my daddy's."

"Which one?"

"The electric bass." Rachel clarified, a knowing smile on her face. It was disconcerting sometimes how well Rachel could read her. "He was in a small jazz band at his university. He still plays for the Lima community jazz band on occasion as well, but normally his work schedule doesn't permit it."

"Hmm... so you got music talent from both parents then?" Quinn asked without thinking.

"We're not sure actually. They never did a paternity test and I do have traits in common with both of my fathers. The only thing we know for certain is that I didn't get any of my musical talent from my dad Hiram." Rachel explained jokingly, taking Quinn's curious question at face value. Then Rachel tried her best to not go looking for things to be offended by when it came to her family, after all if she did that she'd likely never have time for anything else. Quinn had a moment of dread when she recognized Rachel's 'plotting something' face, but wasn't allowed any time to speculate. Rachel quickly rose from the stage, placing her guitar back in its case before easily grabbing the bass and a more modern looking pure black electric guitar down from their wall-hooks.

Without explanation Rachel handed _both_ guitars over to Quinn, whose eyes widened slightly at how unexpectedly heavy they felt in her hands. She hefted the bass experimentally, smiling at the way the thick neck rested against her palm before she remembered that this guitar was probably one of Leroy Berry's most prized possessions and that it would be wise to treat it with extreme care. Then Rachel was crowding into her personal space, plugging cords into each of the instruments quickly before leaving Quinn's side again, leaving her uncertain if she was relieved or disappointed to be at a safe distance again. To low throbbing thwarp noises burst through the room but were quickly silent, leaving only a barely there low hum of sound as Rachel powered on the amplifiers. "I'm just going to leave them on a normal low volume, even if the basement is soundproofed. We won't do anything complicated, so no need for any effects." Rachel explained her actions idly and Quinn simply nodded agreeably even if she didn't understand all the details.

Finally Rachel reclaimed her place on the stage sitting next to Quinn. "Could I borrow the bass really quickly first?" Quinn shrugged and even if she felt reluctant, handed the instrument over to Rachel. She balanced the remaining guitar over her lap, watching Rachel. Her small hands looked even smaller as she hit the lowest string on her bass a slight frown on her face as she fiddled with one of the large tuning nobs that shifted into a smile when the tone sounded right to her. She quickly used the rest of the tuning chords to correct the tightness of the remaining three strings. "Here you go Quinn. Would you like to trade?"

"How do you know I want to play that one and not this one?" She questioned skeptically, but Rachel just shrugged like she didn't know, even though that _smile_ was still ghosting over her lips. _She's so lucky that I'm still working on trying to be a nicer person after everything. _Even if Quinn didn't want to give Rachel the satisfaction, she couldn't quite keep the smile off her own face when the bass had been returned to her. She arranged her instrument like she'd done this before, experimentally pressing down a couple of the thick strings at random to get a feel for it, shivering pleasantly at the low thrum coming through the amplifier even when she didn't hit any of the strings with her right hand.

"I think mine has been adequately tuned to yours. Now you play piano as well as sing in glee club correct?" Quinn nodded, not questioning Rachel's sources. "Well then it should be quite simple for you to gain at least a beginner's knowledge of the instrument. Although I've heard many people say that guitar is easy to learn but difficult to master and I think that's at least equally true for the bass version."

Quinn couldn't quite restrain herself from rolling her eyes at Rachel's apparently low expectations as her pride finally made an appearance, "You know I probably could have at least tuned it myself. I do know how to read music and listen for chords." Why did she care so much what Rachel thought of her musical skill anyway? It was true that a 'loser' with such a cocky attitude upset Quinn's well-engrained ideas about the natural order of things. Despite her efforts to unlearn it part of her still believed her father, Fabrays were simply born better than anyone else, even if he'd always made it clear that her older sister was his favorite.

"I am certain you could have managed adequately... we just haven't replaced those strings for quite a long time. I figured knowing how stretched out they were I could probably get it tuned faster." Rachel allowed, in a surprising show of diplomacy that at first served only to raise Quinn's level of annoyance.

Slow, deep breaths. She thought of the scent of rain, chemistry class, Beth safe and happy... The light feeling in her heart, it felt like flying, when she watched one of Rachel's performances in glee club. "I'm sorry... I just... I get defensive sometimes when people try to help me." She held Rachel's gaze, not trying to disguise her vulnerability like she normally would. Despite her constant need to prove herself around Rachel, for some reason she always found it so easy to just let her mask go when those big brown eyes were promising her something that looked a lot like unconditional acceptance. She wished anyone else in her life looked at her that way. She felt an ache settle in her chest, Rachel was staring at her like she was the most amazing thing in the world. Rachel did that, when they were alone together. It wasn't the vacant look that boys got when they were distracted by her beauty. Rachel always looked at her like she saw the parts that Quinn wished more people would see. Her intelligence, her determination, even her fear that she'd never be good enough. Strange that she could only share her weaknesses with someone she'd always seen as an enemy, and even stranger that _Rachel_ knowing made the weight of all her insecurities feel lighter.

"I know." Rachel's voice was soft and shaky, "Quinn... I'm sorry I was so selfish last year. I should have tried harder to be there for you." Her dark eyes hardened, but Quinn could tell that she was looking inward now, "When I want something, I have a tendency to forget about everyone else. Obviously I need that drive if I'm ever to realize my Broadway dreams, but so often I transfer that tunnel-vision focus to every aspect of my life." She shrugged as she confessed her own insecurities, "It's something I really don't like about myself, but I feel like if I let up even for a little bit, I'd lose my dream and then what would I have?"

"Rachel, I told you when it happened that I wasn't mad. I'm still not. I understand why you did it." Quinn tried to reassure her, but she really wasn't very good at this sort of thing. "I know we still have to talk about it at some point," although Quinn was certainly going to avoid such a talk for as long as possible. "But can't we just forget about that for a little while and just play some music?" She felt an irresistible friendly smile on her face, the smile that she normally could only find during glee club, the one that helped her survive last year.

Rachel obviously recognized it, nodding eagerly as she shifted closer to Quinn. "Alright, I don't know if you knew this or not, but when they're both in standard tuning, the notes on the top four strings of a regular guitar are exactly the same as they are on a bass, the bass is just octaves lower. So if you just watch where I'm placing my fingers on mine, it'll be the exact same for you. Today we'll just start off with something pretty simple, but hopefully it will be something you enjoy."

She really did start things out simple, only pressing down one string on the guitar neck at a time and waiting patiently for Quinn to find the right place on her own instrument. It took Quinn a bit longer than she would have liked to get accustomed to how thick the strings were, and a few times the sound from them came out fuzzy when she pressed down too hard or not hard enough, but after a few times it seemed easy enough to follow Rachel's slow pace. "Alright, that's all there is to the first part." Rachel said with a smile after they'd run through a series of ten notes at incredibly slow pace a few times. "You feel comfortable trying to play closer to on tempo now?"

Quinn nodded, surprised that Rachel could ask her something that didn't sound condescending. Or maybe she just didn't notice because she was really enjoying herself. They both started playing through the bass riff at faster than a snail's pace, and Quinn laughed out loud when she immediately recognized the song. Granted she still fumbled notes a couple of times when jumping from string to string, and she knew she'd have to practice for years if she ever wanted to play bass like Simon Gallup, but she was just having _fun_ sitting here playing The Cure in Rachel's basement. "Sounding great Quinn!" Rachel praised her enthusiastically and this was just like glee club only better. "Now the chorus riff is just a little different."

Again they slowed down the pace, but not quite as much this time or for quite as long because Quinn was really starting to get used to the size and layout of the instrument. She even played ahead of Rachel a few notes near the end, because she knew this song and she wanted Rachel to know that she'd started to figure out where all the notes were. Granted it worked a lot differently from piano, but once she figured out that each fret was a half-step and that there was some overlap area between each of the strings, it was definitely starting to make sense in her mind.

"You think you feel comfortable with me switching parts now?" Rachel asked after they'd run through both riffs a few more times, her voice indicating her full confidence in Quinn's skill.

"Yeah, I'm good."

Rachel grinned broadly and struck the first slightly dissonant chord, letting it fade slowly as Quinn picked up the bass line on her own. It sounded a little bit bare without any drums backing it but after she played it through a few times Rachel came back in with her guitar. She jammed through the swiftly changing chords with her normal enthusiasm, skillfully bending the strings to create the desired warping in the sound. She repeated her guitar part a little longer than the band did in the recording, Quinn suspected Rachel was just trying to let her get the feel for their sound together. She found she didn't mind. Then Rachel hit the more dissonant chord one more time, letting the guitar's sound fade once more as she began to sing.

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am home again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am whole again._

Again they didn't have a keyboard... or they did just not a spare person to play it, so it was just their guitars on the instrumental riff.

_Whenever I'm alone with you_

_You make me feel like I am young again._

_When I'm alone with you_

_You make me feel like I am fun again._

She couldn't keep the huge grin off of her face if she tried as both of them transitioned seamlessly into the chorus. Quinn changing up her bass riff and Rachel adding in her guitar under her singing.

_However far away,_

_I will always love you._

_However long I stay_

_I will always love you_

_whatever words I say_

_I will always love you_

_I will always love you._

They played through the basic opening riffs again together and by now Quinn even felt comfortable enough to look up from her fingers on the strings so that she could watch Rachel. Small tanned hands changed their rhythm as Rachel shifted into the guitar solo, making her instrument sing with all the emotion that she poured into her voice in glee club. But something about it being just their guitars harmonizing with each other made this performance seem so much more intimate to Quinn.

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am free again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am free again._

_\_

When they reached the last chorus Quinn found herself unexpectedly singing along, improvising a harmony a fifth above Rachel's voice. Their eyes met as the song suddenly became all the more real.

_However far away_

_I will always love you_

_However long I stay_

_I will always love you_

_Whatever words I say_

_I will always love you_

_I will always love you._

By some mutual, unspoken agreement they were repeating the chorus. Quinn still couldn't quite believe how perfect their voices sounded together, since they'd never really sung just the two of them, and even though Rachel had known from reviewing recordings of their glee club performances, actually hearing the real thing for the first time was sending pleasant shivers up and down her spine. Finally, reluctantly their voices trailed off, along with the electric hum of their guitars. For an endless moment they sat, silently staring into each others eyes, still under the spell of their own music.

The spell was broken as Quinn's hand slipped against the strings. She blushed slightly as she hurried to turn down the volume nob on the guitar. "That was actually a lot of fun." She admitted shyly, unable to look at Rachel.

"Then we should hang out again this summer. I really enjoyed this as well, and I don't normally get to play this kind of music with anyone other than my dads." Rachel was trying to make it sound like Quinn's response didn't really matter to her. This time last year Quinn knew she would crush Rachel's hopes without a second thought.

"I'd really like that." Pure honesty, she really did mean it. She could only hope that her fear of herself and her family's expectations wouldn't come back before she could keep her promises.

They didn't really actively play much music after that, but instead sat side by side discussing some of the older artists in Leroy's music collection. Still she held on to the bass even though she had turned off the amplifier volume completely, idly walking the fingers of her left hand over the frets. The bass whispered its low notes, urging her to learn its full potential. She hadn't felt this way since her mother had first let her start dance lessons and she'd realized she was actually _good _at it. Most of her dad's collection was old jazz music, but he also had the required Hendrix, The Doors, Bob Marley, Pink Floyd and other classic rock that collected dust in even _her_ parents' attic.

Conversation flowed naturally between them as they discussed different musical styles from decades before either of them were even born. Occasionally Rachel would get wander over to get out a record so that she could show Quinn a favorite song of hers that her dad used to sing to her when she was younger. Quinn felt apprehensive about what could have been simple nostalgia on Rachel's part. Her voice didn't just tell of more innocent times, there was also an edge of loneliness as though she couldn't imagine spending an evening listening to music with her father these days.

Quinn wished she knew Rachel better. After all, even as a rival she should know such basic details about her opponent's home life if only to know how hard she needed to push... But Rachel had always seemed so untouchable, her confidence nearly unwavering in the face of the worst Quinn could dish out. It had seemed logical, from Quinn's twisted perspective that of course Rachel's strength must come from the very thing Quinn lacked: a warm and supportive home-life. _But maybe she really is the excellent actress she claims to be..._

She didn't mention her observations since she was enjoying their light, companionable atmosphere too much to disrupt it with a sensitive subject. Especially one that Rachel probably wouldn't trust someone like Quinn enough to discuss. Instead Quinn quietly restated her promise to be kinder to Rachel and began thinking of ways to enforce her promise to spend time with Rachel this summer.

Before she knew it, hours had passed. She was still having fun, at the moment they were up stairs making vegan banana bread for Rachel to take to her dance class tomorrow, joking with the comfortable air of old friends. They'd gotten a pizza earlier for a late lunch so Quinn wasn't tempted to offend Rachel with her poor manners and check what the uncooked badder tasted like. But now Quinn felt a growing unease within herself. The green digital clock on the microwave said it was already eight p.m. Somehow the entire day had gotten away from her.

"Hey Rach, I just realized I never told my mom that I was going to be out all day today."

"Oh... do you have your phone with you? You could always borrow mine if you needed to call her."

Quinn debated Rachel's suggestion for a moment before sighing regretfully, "I think I should head home... It's not that I don't want to stay," she hastened to explain, "I've just been... avoiding my mother since I moved back in last week. I know I can't just expect things to immediately go back to the way they were before but it's just been so awkward." She shrugged helplessly as she gazed into Rachel's gentle eyes, "It's just after Beth... Well I don't want my mom to think that I'd give up on her so easily. Even if she made some mistakes..."

Rachel nodded in understanding, grabbing Quinn's hand and squeezing it affectionately. "That is very kind of you Quinn. I know that even if your mother doesn't know how to show it right away, she will appreciate your efforts towards reconciliation." Reluctantly she let go, a hopeful smile on her face, "Could you maybe call me tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow." She agreed easily, turning and heading for her long walk home. Just before she reached the door Rachel stopped her.

"Oh and Quinn? I don't think you made a mistake. And even if you were to make mistakes in the future somehow, I promise you Beth won't give up on you." Brown eyes glistened with a few tears, but the smile on her lips was sincere. Quinn still wasn't so sure that Beth would be so forgiving of her, but she could tell that Rachel at least wasn't going to give up on her hopes for the two of them to become friends.

"Thanks Rach." She murmured softly offering the girl a shy smile of her own and a slight wave as she slipped out the door into the still warm evening sun.

x

Quinn took her time on her way home, walking at a leisurely pace along the town's bike paths. When she finally got home the sun was definitely setting, glowing red and huge on the horizon. Passing her car parked in the garage, her eyes lighted on a bundle in the front seat: the book she'd gotten from that shop in town. She decided that since she was thinking about it she might as well take it inside with her.

"Mom?" She called absently, kicking off her shoes before she wandered into the kitchen, registering belatedly that her mother's car hadn't been in the garage. _Great. I guess I should have called her after all. Now Rachel's going to think I'm purposefully avoiding her, when for the first time in my whole life that's actually not the case._

A soft, defeated sigh escaped her lips as she headed upstairs to her room. She wasn't really hungry again quite yet, having eaten most of a medium-sized pizza by herself that afternoon. Just because she was trying to be Rachel's friend now didn't mean she was ready to trust her on this whole 'pizza without cheese' madness.

She climbed in bed and stretched out comfortably, her fingers running absently over the pages of the mysterious old book. They felt sore from the contact and she turned her hands over, noticing the redness from the bass strings, smiling at the memory despite the slight discomfort. This smile was different than the ones that her lips moved into out of politeness at church or around her old minions at school, a smile that fell as soon as it was no longer needed. Instead this one only grew wider as she turned the thick pages of her book to the place she'd left off at the store, eager to hear more about the legendary children of the dragons. Not even the little nagging voice at the back of her mind warning her about the importance of getting back into the town's good graces, or about the strange things that had happened to her lately could dent her good mood.

The book started out as something in between a biology textbook and a creation myth. It explained the nature of these 'gargoyles' how they had longer lifespans than humans but also much slower reproductive rates, only being able to lay eggs once every ten years or so. Even though they possessed wings like dragons, the gargoyles wings were not strong enough to take off directly from the ground by flapping them. Instead they used their wings in a fixed position like a kite, normally taking off from a height before catching an air current and gliding along in the sky. In addition to their command of the skies, being descended from dragons made the gargoyles much stronger than humans. They were just as intelligent as humans as well, being able to use tools and weapons and possessing language and arts all their own. One would think that given these obvious advantages that humans wouldn't even be around on the planet to tell about it if the gargoyles were hostile.

Humanity was fortunate, perhaps undeservedly, because the children of the dragons were tasked with protecting the young humans from older and stronger things that lurked in the night. In very ancient times, most clans of gargoyles protected their humans in secret, lurking in caves and forests at the edges of human settlements, keeping watch for predators or other mythical beasts who would seek to harm the humans. As time went by however, the humans wished for more and more land and soon the gargoyles had a difficult time finding safe nesting grounds.

The ancient race was not one to find jealousy or envy easily, so instead clan elders approached human leaders, offering to help build and protect their towns at night in exchange for protection during the day. The daytime was their biggest weakness, for sun turned even the strongest gargoyle into a defenseless stone statue.

Sudden intense pain shooting through her body jolted Quinn out of her book. Her back, face, hands and legs felt like they were all trying to pull themselves away from each other entirely. Quinn never knew it was possible for a human to feel pain this intense, and she had survived _childbirth. _A strangled whimper escaped her lips as the pain grew sharper and increased in scope to cover most of her body, until finally, mercifully she felt the peace of unconsciousness relieve her from her suffering.

Quinn didn't know how much time had passed, but the last glow of the setting sun had faded as she slowly blinked open her eyes, gazing blearily out the window. Slowly she attempted to rise from her bed, wary of the lingering lightheaded feeling that made her limbs all feel the wrong size. Still, she wanted to head to the bathroom and get a glass of water to sooth the burning dryness in her throat. She let out a long string of curses when her hands and feet inexplicably sunk into her mattress like it was made of jello, only to have her angry words morph into a scream of terror.

Where her own pale hands and feet should be, there were monstrously shaped orange appendages. The thick, sharp talons that tipped each digit were embedded in the ruined fabric of her mattress. Quinn was overcome with a feeling of panic that rivaled seeing that positive pregnancy test so many months ago, but the unreality of the situation left her feeling almost detached from her body as she scrambled in a panic toward her bathroom and the full length mirror inside. She growled in frustration as she tripped over her own limbs a few times during the short journey, as though her body couldn't remember how to move them properly.

Finally she made her way into the bathroom, grateful that the door had been open already. It seemed strangely bright inside so she didn't bother to turn on the light as she cautiously padded in front of the mirror. The shock of it still made her heart stop for long seconds, even if the little voice in the back of her mind warned her that she should have expected this.

A large taloned hand rose and carefully traced over the familiar features of her face, the only part of her reflection that let Quinn know for certain that this, this _beast_ was really her. Then her heart started beating again, faster than before, leaping in excitement instead of simple dread as she flexed muscles in the new limbs protruding from her back. She gasped softly in awe as leathery bronzed wings opened slowly, before realizing that her wingspan was to large to spread them fully in the small bathroom. "I'm a gargoyle." She murmured softly, this obvious conclusion nonetheless leaving her a mess of conflicting emotions. Terrified, anger at that salesman who'd clearly sold her a _cursed_ book, but also the thrill of new and powerful instincts surging through her. The reptilian, dragon-like tail that had only been a mere stump this morning now trailed behind her, its tip twitching like a cats in response to all the intense emotions running through her.

For the second time that day Quinn allowed herself to embrace her positive feelings, pushing the more complicated worries aside to be dealt with later. Instead she rushed back into her bedroom and to one of the large windows that opened out onto the roof of her house. She was pleasantly surprised to learn that even larger and taloned, her hands still maintained most of their human dexterity, and the newly stronger muscles in her arms and chest allowed her to get the window open, even if she needed to take care not to damage it in the process.

Her bare bronze skin shivered pleasantly as she stepped carefully onto the roof. She vaguely registered that most of her clothing was in tatters, clothing for her slim human self was apparently much too small for her wider and much more muscled gargoyle body. She breathed in deeply as she straightened from a crouch to stand, for once not even slightly concerned with the height of the roof. The new dog-like shape of her feet felt more natural now as she took a couple steps closer to the roof's edge.

Her normal inclination whenever she ventured out here to escape from her parents' drunken arguments was to keep a close eye on the ground. She was always paranoid that she'd be unlucky enough to fall off the roof. Instead of worrying that she'd get hurt though, she mostly thought of how that would only redirect her parents' anger from each other to herself. Now though, as she finally allowed her wings to open to their full width, her eyes were drawn to the many stars twinkling gently overhead. They seemed brighter and more numerous than they ever had as she instinctually angled broad wings to catch the slight warm breeze rising from the ground.

Suddenly the air beneath her wings felt _heavier_ and she knew this was the moment. Her breathing increased as she crouched deeply before uncoiling her powerful legs and leaping into the air, her talons scratching softly on the roof's shingles as she pushed off of them. Then she was _gliding_, the thin skin on her wings effortlessly catching more thermals and carrying her higher into the sky. A laugh escaped her, for now allowing the night air to take her wherever it pleased, knowing once and for all that _this _really was what the sound of Rachel Berry singing made her feel. _I wonder though, if anyone has ever given her this feeling, a feeling that makes her feel like anything at all is possible if she can just remember it._


End file.
